can we hold hands?

can we kiss?

can we french-kiss?

can we make-out?

what about
touching those
'special places'?

can we go
all the way?

how far is too far?

 

First-things-first. Before we answer this question, I want you to ask yourself, "Why am I asking this question?"

Is it possible that you're wanting to know so you can go all the way up to the line? Maybe not, but if so..... Instead of asking, "How much can I get away with?", why not ask, "Lord, how holy can I be for you while I'm dating?" In other words, instead of saying, "How much can I get away with?" it would be better to say, "How little can I live with?"

The question 'how far is too far' is a good question. But the motives behind it should be good, also.

Just a little something to think about it.

---

Some good questions to ask are these: "At any time on the date when you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are alone, can you stop and talk about God? Or would it be awkward to think about Him at certain times?

The Bible says to, "Put no confidence in the flesh." Physical relationships don't work well... they're shallow and many times short-lived. They end up hurting the 2 people involved in the long run. Protect yourself from this.

I know this one may sound namby-pamby at first, but hang with me on this one. One of the biggest dangers on a date is what most people call "making-out"... where two people kiss for an extended amount of time. Why is this dangerous? Because many would agree that kissing isn't a sin; therefore, many people do lots of it! And when you kiss long enough, your instincts begin to want to take over, and the hands begin to go walkin', if you know what I mean. Why? Because God designed that passion to be experienced within marriage where the husband and wife go all the way. But when you're dating, you have to hit the brakes at a certain point. And after a while of dating and making-out, it gets harder and harder to hit the brakes. Then, it can easily sneak up on you, and you eventually go farther than you should. Making-out is dangerous in this way. And almost every Christian says the same thing, "Oh, I'll just kiss, but I'll never do such-n-such." If only that were true. Making-out starts fires of passion within you that many times eventually get difficult to put out. And besides, kissing gets old after a while, and then what will you do? If you're new at dating, you might disagree with me. If you're experienced, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. Be careful what fires of passion you ignite! My suggestion: kiss briefly, but don't make-out.

Pray together at the very beginning of the date... even if it's just a short prayer. This sets the tone of the date.

Is it wrong to touch "those special places"?? Read Ezekiel 23. This should convince you that roaming hands are out of bounds. By the way, you may want to have small children leave the room before reading this... it's really graphic.

If it causes you to lust in your mind, then don't do it. "Flee youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22).

Don't put yourself in situations where you know you'll be tempted. For example, it's not wise to be alone in the house with your date when the parents are gone. Or to go "parking" in the car. Or whatever. I think you see what I mean. These alone times in alone places are tempting, especially if you're a couple that does a lot of kissing, and even more especially if you have already crossed lines together in the past.

Matthew 5:29 --- "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Jesus didn't mean to literally poke your eye out. He was being figurative. Don't start cutting off body parts! Basically, His point was "if you can't handle something in your life (even if it's a good thing), then get rid of it." For example, the internet is a good thing... but for a person who struggles with porn on the web, he may need to stop surfing online for a while. This principle could even apply to a relationship. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend can be a good thing... maybe even sent from God... but if you can't handle them responsibly, then you need to break up for a while. Make sense?

If you want, you can take a look at the pages on:
God's view of sex.
10 reasons to save sex until your married.